aria: what drives us?

After revisiting some of my previous posts, I came to the rather unsettling realization that I hadn't posted anything in over two months. Not to say nothing holding any gaming significance didn't traverse the fucked up utopia that is my brain...I just didn't write it down!

Tonight's musings addresses a slightly more depressing topic that I have decided to throw off my gloves and approach with brutal honesty: what motivates us, the gamers, to play, interact, progress, or even want to pick up a controller and proceed into whatever virtual world has been laid out before our eyes. I've actually discovered there are a plethora of intricate and well, sometimes rather less complicated reasons than you might believe.

Originally, I always just assumed everyone played games for the compelling story or for fun, but after truly thinking about it, I realized how naive a notion that truly was. First and foremost, there is the drive to just have fun. The thrill and enjoyment of doing whatever it may be in whatever world you're dwelling within. That's probably the most primitive and basic motivator of all, duh. Games were created to have fun and it's a completely legitimate reason to play, not that anyone needs to have a "legit" reason of course, who am I to say what is the right reason to play a video game...it's all up to the player to decide. There certainly does exist an urge to complete a game's story, we as human beings with brains, feelings, and thoughts all succumb to the curiosity (You know, that thing that killed a cat...or something rather.) of finding out just how the story concludes so we may go about our otherwise busy lives knowing we've peacefully, or not so peacefully, resolved whatever has been bestowed upon whoever, whenever, and wherever. I've actually found that I enjoyed playing a game simply for the characters.

Grandia II and the Ratchet & Clank series are two fine examples, I love Ratchet's humor and charm and Ryudo from Grandia was a huge sarcastic and abrasive breath of fresh air among all the other inherently cheery or depressingly "emo" Japanese teenagers with big swords of his era on the Playstation 2 and Dreamcast.

Violence in video games is another one; though I've yet to truly understand the reason behind about 90 percent of all the fans that exclusively play that brand of excessively violent video game. That drive to, as they might put it on any given Sunday afternoon, "kill shit, blow things up, light stuff on fire, and all that junk". I mean no disrespect, I promise, I've actually heard similar if not the exact statement numerous times before, I work at a Gamestop in my local area, heh. To me, it's almost a given nowadays that you will be allowed and, in most cases, suggested or forced to commit gruesome tasks in one form or another in almost every game that's released this day in age. So blowing your hard-earned cash, drug money, or even spending that much time contriving a system in which to steal a game that spends most of its resources looking pretty and letting the player kill things in a gajillion different ways at the expense of a roster of developed characters and a story that doesn't blatantly suck, to me, is a little wasteful...but then again who the hell am I to judge? I suppose sometimes there is a raging, pissed off side of me that just wants to run aimlessly through an alien wasteland as a marine with a head half the size of my neck carrying an over sized gun that could pass as a small tank, asphyxiating everything in my path with bullets, fire, and acid, just not a sixty-dollar purchase.
MMO's have fallen victim to a breed of gamers that thrive on beefing up his or her character through leveling in a power hungry quest to be the most superior, badass around. It's more of an addiction than anything else really, or at least it usually becomes one. I'll use WoW as an example for the sake that it's the most obvious case readily available. I think it's safe to say that the majority of people playing WoW don't follow the story, in fact they may not even know one exists, there are guides online on how to level up, sites on the best gear, and a multitude of other resources that help you advance your character in every way you can possibly conceive, but not one damn thing on the story behind what the game is all about. It's kind of a silly, yet vicious, cycle where you play for countless hours to get beefier, better, and badass-ier gear, so you can kill harder things, so you can get better gear, so you can then kill even more difficult things and just when you thought you were the most fuckin' badass Paladin this side of Azeroth...Blizzard raises the bar so you spend even more time invested in doing the same things over again. There does exist an almost social aspect to that type of game play though. Bonds are formed, friends are made, and more quests are completed along the way! I succumbed to this behavior with Diablo II. I think I invested one whole summer solely to maiming thousands of cows, Baals, and Mephistos in an attempt to obtain Stones of Jordans and other super rare gear. (Thank you Blizzard, I will never see that summer again!) My only saving grace which doesn't even compensate for such antisocial behavior was the existence of an actual...decent story, but even then...I didn't pay any attention to it every time I played, it was the thrill of looting every body that hit the ground that plucked my heart strings. Actually the one game that got me really thinking about this particular topic was Borderlands. It looks pretty, it's post apocalyptic, and you can level up. Three huge flags that I will most likely enjoy a game. After hours of playing, I began a discussion with my brother about how fun it was until we hit the topic of it's story...or basically the near absence of any story at all! It sort of dug a hole inside of me because I suddenly didn't have a point in killing a ton of Skags and advancing in the game. It was a sad day in the life of this little gamer...

There's always the aesthetic appeal of those artsy or super realistic-looking games. Games like Okami, Braid, Odin Sphere, Uncharted, Borderlands, and many others that look so visually appealing that we tend to forget the drawbacks of their designs. The ever-so-popular-to-the-teenage-girl simulation games that simulate...well...life. Y'know that thing that we're all doing? Yeah, well she's playing a game based on it...and doing it in any outfit she could imagine complete with eighty different hairstyles! Oh yes, customization, what a lovely little personal touch to gaming. Many games provide statistics on how you, as a player, have done. It definitely boasts a sense of competition. One game I tended to play out of competition was Counter-Strike 1.6 and Source. Where there is no story, no single player, and only stats to brag or sulk in despair about, what else could a game of that scope really stand to deliver? For whatever reason, I find it hard to justify, now more than ever, playing and investing time and energy into games that don't give me a good reason to put the said time and energy into them, but I suppose it's when games are true to themselves that I can let a lack of story or purpose become obsolete. Counter-Strike doesn't even attempt a story...it never meant to and you'd be silly to think it was ever missing one. It was never even a glimpse in a developer's sparkling little eye over at Valve. Same goes for Left 4 Dead. There's a premise: zombies, and the zombies don't like you and the three others that make up that motley crew of yours. I tend to contradict myself and that's solely because when it boils down to it, I generally play and enjoy the games that are good at what they are set out to do and don't try to bullshit anyone. So, there's no cut-and-dry definition of a good game in my eyes other than a game that does what it was supposed to do in the first place.

So now I end this petty little insight with nothing more to say. We all play games for the reason or reasons to which we find gives us the most gratification at the end of the day. It's a personal experience despite whether it's a social night spent in the comfort of others or alone in a candlelit room with nothing but a blanket between you and your television. There is no right or wrong purpose for fulfilling this desire and not a soul could tell you otherwise. To each his own...or her own!

act two: what it is to feel a game

It's been a few weeks since I've posted anything and that's for several reasons. Mainly, I've been busy staying in touch with the people I love and working two jobs, not to mention I have hobbies and whatnot. But in more significant news, one of the head honchos over at Square-Enix advised us gamers to download Final Fantasy VII from the Playstation Network and keep busy playing that...for now. Obviously a Final Fantasy VII remake has been sought after since like...three years after the freakin' game originally released for the Playstation, and more and more hype began to saturate the masses as Advent Children, Crisis Core, Dirge of Cerberus, and Before Crisis came out, now the New Final Fantasy VII Advent Children Playstations and complete editions of Advent Children...well I digress.

I have always been right in the front lines chanting that I want a Final Fantasy VII remake...and until I really thought about it earlier today, that's always been one of the dreams that I had hoped Square-Enix would unveil. See, I've realized something about games, or anything in general. I've realized that certain games, I will use games for my example considering that's my main focus, convey very, very, very particular feelings, emotionally, to gamers. Everything from the subtle music quality to the color pallettes used throughout the game all build this emotional vibe. Some things are so discrete that we can't even outwardly convey them. Creating a remake of Final Fantasy VII, even given they decided to literally just regenerate all the old settings, music, and whatnot, would still not have the absolute feeling, that I got when I first played as Cloud as he hopped out of a train and aided AVALANCHE in their first trek to blow up a Mako reactor.

I love games for that, they represent a certain time in life when they were important to the developers or gamers. Like whenever I play Heavenly Sword or Uncharted, I get taken back to when I got my Playstation 3 in the fall and it's just an exhilerating feeling.

I'm still digressing, heh. Moving on! I think I'd almost be just as satisfied with a sequel to Final Fantasy VII, not that I want that...at all, trust me. But I just won't have the same feelings I get playing the original even with it's terrible looking gameplay graphics. Honestly, that's probably the only part that dated horribly. But see, given a game's faults, or aging difficulties, it still captures, or atleast captured a certain feeling at the time when you played it. Even games that appear to be devoid of any real emotional attachment can induce similar responses, such as Uncharted, which is more of an action game than anything else.

Beyond the less complex ideas that, "Dark colors create a more melancholic experience." or "Upbeat soundtracks keep a fast-paced feel." there are underlying factors that take place without you or I to identify them by. Events, settings, and music that speak to some of us in certain ways that can't be duplicated and by enhancing them, you might lose the true sensation it gave in the beginning. Actually, I think a huge factor in how we feel the games we play is in the introduction of new settings, characters, and events. You may have seen an action sequence before, but you've never seen one under these conditions. Though it is a stretch, I do believe we, or at least I, attribute games in their entirety to feelings dependent on where I am in my life, who I'm with, and every other aspect of my life. It's another way to escape our real world. Kind of empathize with a character or just let a game completely envelope you. Let it be the thing you talk about with your coworkers for the next few days. Isn't that another great part about games?

I suppose I could be the only one who devotes this much time in identifying these hidden feelings. Maybe I'm that emo kid in the corner who swears nobody understands him. Haha, but I feel that I'm not the only one. No wait, I can't be the only one...if you could focus your attention to the right please, bingo!

In conclusion, I've realized that maybe I just don't want a remake, it may not benefit me in any way. I suppose it'd be relatively cool to witness some of the cooler or more dramatic moments in HD with a 32" LCD television. But would it really regenerate the feelings I have for the original? Not a chance in hell. Regardless of what Square-Enix does, the result will still, inevitably, remain the same: I will either fork over sixty hard-earned dollars to them in the event they make it, or I will dole out that same amount of cash for something else they create...in the end, they win.

intermission: our forgotten heritage

I just wanted to address one thing before I begin my hot, muggy, and otherwise, miserable Sunday afternoon. More and more often I'm finding indie game developers speak on behalf of the current gaming trend and how it's steering towards "pointless killing" and blaming the developers for "treating the players like morons". Now I only put those two statements in quotations because those two arguments have been repeated numerous times. I completely and wholeheartedly agree with these statements on most fronts, but at the same time I think some of these developers have taken a beautiful vision, and turned on their fellow brethren and basically said, "Okay, you guys aren't mature enough anymore, we're not friends."

I hate, well hate is a strong word...yeah okay, I pretty much hate all the repetitive space marine, World War X, elves, dwarves, and goblins games and any other setting that's been beaten so many times that I just couldn't care less about them anymore. This doesn't mean that I think all games should be some "spiritual, uplifting, emotional ride" and if you end up killing an enemy then it instantly amounts to some variation of a senseless killing game. I believe we, as gamers and developers, should use a teeny bit more creative juices in making our games. Take a look at Earthbound, No More Heroes, and Beyond Good & Evil. Those games didn't break any huge genre boundaries, they didn't address huge emotional issues, and they weren't even meant to be taken too seriously, but they were a hell of a lot of fun and had interesting characters, designs, and stories. Earthbound was in the midst of about eight trillion other RPGs of it's time on the SNES and because it's lighthearted, "boy with a bat" theme, it totally stood out in my heart. In no other game....well RPG, heh, have I beaten snakes, rats, and gang members from The Sharks with a baseball bat, frying pan, and bottle rockets. Instead of walking through lavish castles and dungeons, I was waltzing through a freakin' mall! It was this huge breath of fresh air and, to this day, Earthbound is one of my favorite games.


The main point I want to get across is that games originally were essentially based on the enjoyment it brought kids, adults, families, whatever and occasionally there was definitely a sense of competitive sport thrown into the mix (ie. high scores). I say we should like games for whatever reason that appeals to us, the players. Just because there are a thousand Gears of War, Call of Duty, and God of War ripoffs, doesn't mean our entire industry is one huge failure. If you like being a space marine, go ahead and kill some aliens (just don't ask me to play with you, I'd rather rot in hell, heh, sorry guys.). Get this, I was reading an article about a game developer who doesn't even like games anymore because of the route it's going down. That is pretty absurd and I think he's one fellow who has taken this, "indie game revolution" and turned it sour by pointing too many fingers and taking himself a tad too serious. We've made some huge advances in our games and I hate to see people push it too much. We're still young in our generation of gaming, let us get older, wiser, and more comfortable with our medium. Things will get "better" and more "emotionally evocative". I recently played through Heavenly Sword and though it lacks a long, deep story with meanings and emotional rides, it looks gorgeous, the few characters that are in the story are very unique, and the boss battle at the end was freakin' amazing! Also, a good chunk of the game is spent fighting baddies who are harder to kill then just one quick swing of the blade because of the "stance" system, and the story doesn't really get boring because of it's brevity and the amount of nonstop action that's going down. Overall, I loved it. It's not trying to be Braid. I'm okay with that, even though there are parts in Heavenly Sword that were a bit emotional and thought-provoking like when Nariko realizes that, "once you accept death, you're free." I thought that was pretty neat.

I'm just afraid the indie developers are becoming a little too spiteful as a whole. Obviously not everyone is, but from what I've seen, it's becoming a trend. I actually almost succumbed to that mindset not long ago. I started playing all these extremely emotional indie games and began to resent other games. I realized that when all is said and done, sometimes I just like to have fun. Sometimes I just want to look at Travis Touchdown and be like, "Damn, even though he's a a walking hard-on who eats, sleeps, and breathes Asian girls in cat ears, he's still the coolest guy ever!"
Case and point: yes, there is a good chunk of games that we've seen eighty other times, and yes, I don't like seeing them on store shelves either, but I think games are sometimes taken too seriously. I don't just want a shit ton of Flowers, Braids, and Today I Die's, I'd like a whole canvas of games that I can enjoy for whatever reason I find at the time. I love games for a plethora of reasons like their stories, characters, zany and twisted themes, the way I can escape the real world for a long gaming session, total social gatherings, nostalgia, anything. Isn't that what's so amazing about games? No other medium is so versatile. Sure you can watch a movie with someone, but you can't interact and alter the other persons experience. In the end...can't we all just get along?

tragedy: afro samurai, the game i wanted to love

This one's going to be short.

Back when Afro Samurai was early in production, and it was only "word on the street", I had saw a small article in my issue of PLAY magazine.

PLAY magazine, by the way, is, in my humble opinion, the best game magazine I've ever had the privilege to read. It's a more indie magazine with good core beliefs on the gaming industry.
Anyways! I see the first screenshots and art pieces. A month later I get a lowdown on the music and gameplay. A month later I'm salivating on my magazine so I couldn't really read anything beyond that, but it was apparent that I wanted to have this game. The artwork, the style, the sheer thought of playing Afro through his journey to avenge his father gave me the idea that it would be a worthy sixty-dollar purchase.

Well, before anyone jumps on me about how "this was amazing, I have no idea what you're talking about, dumbass." Just please understand this is my opinion. I've spoke with numerous people who loved it, hated it, or...I guess never played it.

The graphics: amazing.
The story: short, semi cliched, but nevertheless, pretty sweet.
The voice overs: perfect.
The music: like nothing I'd ever heard before.

It was in the repetitive gameplay, the terrible camera angles, the fact that (at the time) I couldn't alter the x-axis from being introverted. The blasted loading screens got annoying. I think there were only three different types of bad guys throughout the whole game, that I had played anyways. One other thing I didn't get was the fact that you could "level up" but because there was no health bar, experience gauge, or any stats of any kind, you had no idea what was being leveled up. I assume you gained more life, and maybe your attacks packed a bigger punch, but how the hell should I know? I got that same sense of false hope that Stewie had in that skit where he played with the voice function on his Macintosh.

Stewie's Computer

I don't know. I just didn't feel it was ready to come out. Double it's length, spend a little extra time changing up the look, at least, of the baddies. I would maybe recommend losing, or at least utilizing all those combos in the select menu, because aside from the "ricocheting bullet" combo and the "stabbing the head" combo, I made it through just fine with button mashing.

Like I stated previously, I desperately wanted to love this game. I did, but the amount of things that grew way too annoying over time just laid the beast to rest. Like, I will probably pick it up years down the road and play it out of denial, but for now...

Thoughts?

interlude: why ambiguity works

Ok, so I just recently played Passage. Go play it right now.

No it's fine, I will be right here when you get back...

Wasn't it freakin' awesome? I love how you have no idea what's going on until you figure out like...four minutes in that you are aging. I love how you never quite know what the little chests do, or what that countdown is for. Hell, you barely even know if you're going to right direction.

Now couldn't all of those things relate to life in general? I know that I'm not certain where I'm going in life, aging seems to sneak up on the majority of us, and I didn't even know there was a pixelated damsel to snatch a ride with until further reading. The craziest thing?...She makes it so you cannot enter certain paths. There are too many messages being portrayed that I might need to sit down and play a couple more times. Even then though.

Oh yes, back to the actual meaning of this blog. I think it's the ambiguous nature of titles like Passage, Braid, and Today I Die that help drive the message that the artist intended, not to mention also anchor the player to the game. Like in Braid, you spend however long it takes to work each theme to your advantage to complete the level. It sort of creates this bond of sorts between you and Tim. Look at Passage, you don't even know what's going on until you notice the hair on your head starts to recede. There's always a point in games like that when "it just clicks". If you knew what happened in Passage at the end, or halfway through, or that you could find this girl avatar to follow you, but you'd be barred from certain areas...there wouldn't be that sense of feeling.

So, I say, throwing in some obscurity as to what the player must do next to further his/her gaming experience gives you moments like when you turn into a tombstone, or your character suddenly floats to the top, dissipating all the evil demons in the sea.

Tell me what you think.

Oh and the picture of the cat...he's a cute lil' guy.

satire: fear and loathing for xbox 360

Okay, I'm not going to hold back. I have come to terms with the fact that I absolutely hate the Xbox 360 and everything it stands for. The Xbox 360 is like...that douche bag in college that thinks he is superior in every single way. You know the ones I'm talking about. Those tools with the backwards baseball cap, chin strap beard, and a tribal around their arm. See, now you know what I mean. I don't even think hate is the word...I despise the fucking beige, malfunctioning, piece of red-ringed, technical shit that it is. Bill Gates can suck a huge dick for thinking, for a second, that he deserves an ounce of support in his escapades to take down Sony and Nintendo. Like, I will admit, I'm a Sony fanboy. I'd go gay if Sony was an actual person...well that assumes that Sony would be a man...and clearly the name, "Sony" sounds quite feminine...I digress.

Point is, I love Sony and to have Microsoft walk into my living room, help himself to the contents of my refrigerator, fart in my face, and sleep in my bed makes me want to smash the fucking thing into my floor.



Yeah, I know...I just said my floor. I kind of own one...

Yeah. But what kind of a gamer would I be if I didn't own all three seventh generation systems??

I think that's the problem, if we want to truly get rid of the Xbox, we've got to suck up the fact that it has a few good games, and just leave it to die on Wal-Mart shelves. It's attracted this new wave of toolbag gamers who own nothing but Gears of War, Halo, and Call of Duty and wouldn't dare touch a game where there was any slight sense of feelings aside from the occasional laugh that you just soddered some babies eyeballs out with his mother's foot after detaching it from her screaming body and lighting it on fire. To them, games are shooting, bleeding, killing, and every other verb that insists violence on a shallow level. Don't get me wrong though, violence can be fucking beautiful. I loved No More Heroes with every passing second I played in an attempt to shank some Russian hottie. But I realize that it's a shallow concept and that there's more to the game than that.

Now that I have totally pissed about...75% of the U.S. gaming community.

I will leave you to think about that a bit. :)

act one: random josh ramblings

So I've been doing a lot of thinking as of late.

Well, first let me welcome everyone who may read my blog now or in the future. I'm Josh Jackson. I am a 20-year-old who has always dreamed of making video games. This blog site is going to consist of a lot of random thoughts I've had and will have, just to sort of get them off my chest and onto...virtual paper, so be it. I'll expand more on this in a bit, I gotta ramble a bit more.

So the ideas behind actually making video games has recently become a lot more in depth than I had ever imagined. I had initially started aspiring to make merely the art for video games. Then, over time, it dawned on me that I had so many little ideas for stories, concepts, gameplay, and designs that I, frankly, just wanted my name in the credits. That, however became even more complicated when I stumbled upon a game called, "Today I Die". This game, only lasting a whopping two minutes (one and a half minutes to figure out what to do, and half a minute to complete) completely and wholly spoke to me. It was like a breath of fresh air after I had played it. I love games, whether it be Assassin's Creed, Final Fantasy eight thousand nine hundred and seventy-four, or Braid. But this little treasure was created by one guy...well I shouldn't say that, he had someone make the musical score, which was also equally astounding, by the way. The game consists of this girl who appears to be just kind of...meandering in a body of pixelated water with a sort of anchor of sorts tied to her foot. Without ruining any details, the basic premise of the game is to...break free, I suppose. Well, anyways, it incorporates a short poem as well. Ya know what, fuck it. Here's the link to the game, you play it, you finish it, and tell me what you think. Unless you think it sucks, in which case you can go take a flying fucking leap off the nearest cliff...or into a body of water with an anchor tied to your feet, you choose. No, but I kid.

Today I Die

The reason this game made everything sooo much more confusing about my passion for gaming is like...it almost made me hate all those other games where you just shoot shit, rip heads off, or beat up babies...or something rather. I just had this epiphany where every other game that wasn't a Braid, Today I Die, Passage, or Flow...just sucked. And the thing is, that's sooo not true in any sense of the word, unless we're talking about Halo. No really though, fuck you Bill Gates. Stick to computers. I think I just feel like that because this game was so...innocent, and artistic in a way that I'd never seen before. Like I want to make games that can speak to people, that people can get a sense of feeling from. I had those little shivers after I finished Today I Die. I haven't had that...since like when I first played Final Fantasy VII and Aeris...was...ahh, okay well every one knows she dies so whatever. I felt for Aeris, I felt for Cloud.

Also, I took great inspiration from a man by the name of Anthony Burch who posts a weekly video of game ideas entitled the "Rev Rant".

He pointed out that creating a character in a game with some kind of backstory pertaining to you, the main character, totally seperates any feeling of personal relationship. The only true way to create a whole-hearted relationship with a character in a game and you is by introducing the character to the player the same time the character you're playing is introduced to him/her. Say, for example, in FFVII when you meet Aeris versus already knowing Tifa for like twenty years prior to the actual happenings in the game. Why did I want to bawl when Aeris died? (aside from the scary truth that I have absolutely no life and I'm merely a twenty-year-old living at home with mom and dad still crying about video games)

It's because when Cloud met Aeris for the first time in the flower patch in Midgar...I met her for the first time. Everything from that point on was a shared experience between Cloud and I. That really struck me as interesting because now if I really want a character to drive an emotional kick to the nuts, I'm gonna, most likely, throw him/her in the same time he or she met the main character or another character in the game. It makes too much sense.

Well I'm off for a bit. I gotta call this girl back, I'm moving to San Diego and I am hopefully shacking up with three other people!